The MN

dedicated to entertaining the easily amused (and people from Kentucky) issue date: September 17, 2002

The Moon Archives Yes, this is where all our old stories go to die. But if you found one from awhile ago to be utterly hilarious and just HAVE to show all your friends the sort of useless shit you can find on the Internet, we keep our old stories archived RIGHT HERE in an easy to find format that even Susie Nilppok can find.

Spring Training News
Twins Mathematically Eliminated from Race
Season hasn't even started yet by B-Rent Imagodei (3/15/01)
Wow. Spring training 2001 took a shocking turn, as the Minnesota Twins were mathematically eliminated from the pennant race by commissioner Bud Selig and STATS, Inc. We thought they at least deserved until Opening Day to be eliminated, but those hopes were squashed by the former owner of the Milwaukee Brewers. Kirby Puckett is ashamed to be a Twin, and Tom Prince is revved up to finally be a starting catcher. Do you really want the gory details of a franchise gone wrong? Of course you do. Read article

Napster Update
Artists Drop Napster Lawsuit
"Dude, we were just f***ing with him." by Daniel K. Bobloos (3/10/1)
To the joy of college students nationwide, the lawsuits filed by aging artists Metallica and Dr. Dre against Napster have been dropped. There have been reports of college students across the nation spending their nights in their dorm rooms downloading from their computers instead of getting drunk and causing riots due to the fact that the lawsuits were dropped. Despite this, several companies are continuing with their lawsuit, which according to some member of Metallica, "is like, retarded, man." We here at The Moon only wish that all the lawsuits were dropped so we could continue to pirate millions of songs off of Napster and burn them onto CD for our own personal use. If only wishes came true... Read article

College Student Can't Handle Homework
Website Assignment Too Much by Chris Olin (1/21/1)
Shawn Roetzstearn, a senior student at the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh, could not handle finishing an assignment for his World Wide Web Site Development class. The assignment included creating a personal webpage from scratch using FTP. Considering that this page is being used to turn in for the same class by a different student (me), and that this took me all of a few days to put together, this dumbass schmuck shouldn't be having this problem. But he is and he's ready to go postal (see Postal section at right)(this Roetzstern kid also has postal worker in his bloodlines)(this should be sounding off alarm bells in Oshkosh)(parenthesis are cool). Read article

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