(and people from Yakutsk)
issue date: March 10, 2001
Reportedly he was sick of being the most bad-ass dude in the NBA, so he went under the pigmentation knife in order to become white and therefore lose all his coolness. Following his new Caucasian roots, he is now referring to himself as the "Earthworm".
We caught up with Rodman to interview him, but after we caught up to him, he realized we were following him and outran us. We thought he ducked into the local Starbucks, but apparently he blended in with the patronage there. In that regard, the surgery has apparently paid off. He is blending into his surroundings more consistently in order to avoid the media. Then again, he was wearing a suit (covering his tattoos) and has dyed his hair a natural-looking brown.
It just now has dawned on us that maybe this wasn't Rodman at all, but just some white guy posing as him while wearing a pink shower cap and a tye-dye shirt. Nobody knows for sure except for Chad Rasmussen, and he's not talking.
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