(and people from Olathe, Kansas)
issue date: March 10, 2001
"The first time we played them wasn't a fair matchup," said Rutzinski. "Our best two players weren't there. Not that we're that good with them, but without them we suck more than Monica. This time, though, was sweet. We knew we had the game won when we actually held a first half lead for once."
Other players contacted about the victory did not wish to share their identities (Rutzinski is a pseudonym as well), but most agreed that even though they stink, at least it was fun. "Although it's nice to know that nobody will ever find out about our team, because no journalistic publication in their right mind would cover us." (and then there came The Moon - although the Oshkosh Northwestern publishes final scores once in awhile on those days when they actually attempt to be a professional journalistic publication)
We promise that as soon as Rutzinski can locate his scorebook (which he says is located somewhere in his room - but we think it was sent to the Basketball Hall of Fame to commemmorate a crappy team actually winning) we will report the stats from the game that changed the face of basketball as we know it forever.