dedicated to entertaining the easily amused (and people from Eerie, Indiana) issue date: March 10, 2001
Today's Top 10
TOP REALLY STUPID THINGS TO SAY ON A FIRST DATE
10. You're really nice, I mean that.
9. My dream is to grow up and be exactly like Al Gore.
8. Kristi, uh Kim, uh Heather, uh Stacey, uh Katie, uh Kristin, uh Emily, uh what
was your name again?
7. Did you know I'm bisexual?
6. I can do it upside down--let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
5. Nice kumquats.
4. Do you want to see my impression of a gerbil?... BEND OVER
3. Will you breastfeed me?
2. Oh... you didn't WANT your hair on fire.
1. All seventeen of my other personalities like you except the madman, mutant, serial
killer, rape artist personality that attacked and killed all forty-seven of my
other girlfriends at exactly 9:37 p.m. which is when he comes out, which is
actually about two minutes from now.
N